Last wednesday was ash wednesday (or was it the one before), the beginning of the ‘lenting’ period for christians. As is customary, a lot went to different church services, trying to get that ash on their fore heads (how did that even start sef, I mean, who woke up and said, ‘hey, we should rub ash on people’s fore heads’? Na wa o). I was at the office, trying to sleep out the previous night’s hangover when suddenly my phone rang. It was one of my cousins. “Arinze, hmmmm, hope you went to church o! You know yourself. Make sure you go o!”. That’s all she called to say!!. No, how are you, how is work, no small talk. Just straight to church talk. I just told her I’d go later, which she didn’t believe (and I don’t blame her, it didn’t even cross my mind to go to church). But this got me thinking. I’ve gained a reputation amongst close family members as a sort of ‘pagan’. When it comes to ‘voluntarily’ going to church for any reason whatsoever, count me out. How did this happen? My parents were Knights in the church, my foster parents ARE knights too. I used to love churchy activities when I was much ‘littler’, bible quizzes, church camps. I was in the boys brigade for God’s sake!. What changed?
This is a joke. You might say it’s a dirty joke, but it’s sole purpose is to have you laughing so hard your sides hurt. If you don’t see it that way, well……. That’s YOUR problem!
Nah, I’m just kidding, but I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did…..
A guy goes to a monastery. There he is told that before he can be accepted as a monk he has to go through a series of tests. He passes all these & is given the final & most important test; he is stripped & a bell is tied to his dick, naked nuns are paraded in front of him & if the bell rings, he’s failed the test. Well the nuns are paraded & sure enough, the bell rings. The guy asks for a re-trial, which is granted, and the bell rings again. This goes on for a while, so the guy complains sayin that this is an impossible test for any man to pass, so to prove him wrong, 10 monks are brought in & bells are tied to their dicks. The nuns are paraded in front of them & none of their bells ring. Meanwhile the guy’s bell is ringing like mad & it falls off.
For the past few days, this particular song by American r&b artist Mario has been on repeat in my head. You’ll probably know the song, it was quite popular back in the day, titled ‘let me love you’. I put this ‘happening’ up as my bbm update, and I got a lot of comments (I really have crazy contacts) , ranging from ‘I must be in love’, ‘it’s probably cos valentine’s day is around the corner’ ‘sizzle your own don finish’ to one from a wonderful cousin of mine ‘n*gga u gay!!!’ (This particular comment had me laughing out loud like a mad man).