Edible Catering

Mama Divine beamed as she watched the sea of bodies struggle for a spot in front of the line. 

“Ah ah,  it’s my turn na”

“I’ve been standing here since o”

“Omo no try yourself o, better put my own!”

She couldn’t believe it. There’s so many of them. 

Some in their suit and ties,  some in their labourer shorts. There was even a woman wearing a bridal dress!

She glanced at the corner, and let out an involuntary spurt of laughter. 

Three young men had taken off their suits, rolled up their sleeves, and were elbow deep in a bowl of soapy water filled with dirty dishes, rapidly scrubbing away.

It hadn’t always been like this. Thank God for him. He saved my business. He saved me. The Tall Slim Bearded man. 


It had been another day of virtually no sales. Another day of packing up the leftover food and giving it out, again. 

I can’t continue like this. 

As she locked up, she suddenly felt a chill tingle down her spine. 

“Hello Mama Divine”

Mama Divine swallowed the scream before it could escape her mouth. 

“Who are you? How did you get in..? What do you want?”

The questions flowed out of her mouth in quick succession. 

“I have a proposition for you, one I’m sure you’d find very interesting”

He has such beautiful eyes. 

Mama Divine found herself enthralled as she listened to him speak. And when he finally opened the briefcase in his hand,  this time the scream escaped from her mouth. 


This time, Mama Divine didn’t feel the urge to scream when she saw him sitting in her living room. 

I can’t believe I’ve gotten used to this. 

“How is business?” The Tall, Slim,  Bearded man had a smirk plastered on his face. 

“It’s going wonderfully well.”



The transactions were always quick and silent. 

She handed him the black bag, trying her best to hide the disgusted look on her face. 

The Tall, Slim, Bearded man opened the bag,  took a long sniff and smiled. 

With the smirk back on his face, he handed her the briefcase.

“Same time next month?”

Mama Divine couldn’t bring herself to look him in his face.

“Of course.” 


Mama Divine opened the briefcase. The briefcase that contained the special ingredient. The special ingredient that turned her business around. The special ingredient that had people from far and wide dying to have a taste of the delicious dishes from Mama Divine’s Edible Catering Services. The special ingredient that cost her so little. 

After all, I throw the tampons away.  Who knew my monthly flow would one day be this useful. 

She walked to her kitchen. 

Damn,  I need to get a new food processor.

Out of the briefcase, the lifeless eyes of two exsanguinated babies peeked out, the light reflecting off their pale albino skins.

13 thoughts on “Edible Catering”

    1. ?????. There’s nothing to be worried about. Unless you wake up at night thinking of iya basira rice o. Then wahala dey

  1. Oh, how I wish I can tag D’ Mega fans in gbags… so tayyy e reach Dubai… Those bloated lifeless eyes starring at me from the third smaller plastic plate beside the 2 steaming hot wooden bowls…. chaiii, I need to flush my belle

  2. Reminds me of mama Ebuka in Unn and mama epkere in Enugu. To find plate eat for those joints na war. I’m sure their food is legit sha. Lool dem no dey wash put like Arinze bukka

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